Domestic violence is a topic that’s been turning headlines for ages. This is mainly due to the fact that it could happen to anyone and that it takes multiple forms. Although when one hears of the term, it is normal to picture sexual or physical abuse and battered wives, this is not always the case. Domestic violence does not always end with visible scars, or husbands behind bars.
In lieu of the month of domestic violence, we have listed up some ways through which you can identify whether you are a victim of it, or not:
Any behavior that exploits another’s insecurities, vulnerabilities, and character is identified as emotional abuse.
- Undermining the victim’s self confidence through insults and criticisms
- Constantly ignoring the victim’s needs while expecting her to tend to his
- Forcing the victim to use drugs and alcohol
- Degradation, intimidation, manipulation, or brainwashing
This occurs when the victim is being manipulated because of economic resources.
- Controlling the family income
- Not allowing the victim access to money
- Having her turn her paycheck over to him
- Harassing her at work or about work
- Spending her money on nonessential needs such as drugs, alcohol, sports equipment etc.
- Depriving her of opportunities where she could earn money for herself.
One must not confuse marital arguments with verbal abuse as this is usually a one way street and it is almost always violent. Coercion, threats and blame in order to denigrate, embarrass or threaten the victim is called verbal abuse.
- Yelling, rampaging, terrorizing and refusing to talk with the victim
- Threatening to hurt her loved ones and possessions
- Name calling, usually in public
- Telling victim she is unattractive or undesirable as opposed to him
- Humiliating her in front of her friends, family, colleagues or children
When the husband or partner seeks male privileges, and he wants to assert his dominance over the wife, he will turn to intimidation control. This is when the man would justify his controlling behavior because “he is a man”. This form of domestic violence is subtle, insidious and pervasive.
- Monitoring the victim’s phone activity and going through her calls, text messages, emails and photos.
- Checking the mileage on her car, or worse yet, not having her drive on her own.
- Not allowing her the freedom of choice when it comes to clothes, hairstyles or makeup. This might mean that she is supposed to dress more seductively, or conservatively than to her liking.
- Using the children to control the mother by asking them to spy on her. Threatening to kill the children if she doesn’t do as he says or abusing her in front of children or vice versa.